HIGH STREET retail stores have confessed their entire clothing range basically gives thousands of ways to look like the same twat.
‘Fashion is always changing, but if there’s one thing that remains the same it is that it will always make you look like a twat’, said industry representative Tim Norwood.
‘It’s our job to make sure no twat should look excactly identical, that would give the game away.
‘Take our tshirt range for example. We splice together strange jumbled montages of vague, meaningless, obscure, and vacantly ethereal words, symbols and photos that give a feint impression of some kind of twatty freedom of spirit. With them you can quickly and easily look like an urban bloke about town, ie a twat.
‘We’ve got jeans for twats, hats for twats, shirts, jumpers, socks and shoes for twats. Cufflinks for twats.
‘and to be honest the rise of online retail hasn’t affected us at all. Twats love going shopping.’