UKIP racism low grade and uninspiring, claim high-brow racists


THE QUALITY of UKIP’s racism is low grade, not insulting enough and lacks poetic flair, according to proper connoisseurs of racism.

Hardcore racism aficionados have said UKIP’s racism is weak, unreliable and lacks any true artistic merit, which also doesn’t go anywhere near to openly insulting ethnic groups and vulnerable minorities nearly as much as they deserve.

They claim an exquisitely constructed barrage of devastatingly precise and viciously insulting four letter expletives to be the order of the day which leaves the marginalized victims in no doubt they have been singled as objects of hate and oppression, rather than the tepid, veiled and unimaginative prose of UKIP which lacks the upstanding integrity of proper racism.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage defended the parties racist content, pointing out ‘we have been forced to apologise for a string of offensive comments, some of which have been rather witty, highly distasteful, and likely to make many struggling and vulnerable people very upset and fearful of their futures, even if i do say so myself.’

Yet it remains unclear as to whether UKIP are actually really nasty hardline racists or are simply a loveable bunch of bigoted blustery curmudgeonly nincompoops whose divisive manifesto can be explained by low levels of intelligence and lack of comprehension toward the root causes of complicated world events and perhaps Nigel Farage should be considered to be accepted into the pantheon of cuddly old national treasures with favourites such as Stephen Fry, Paul Daniels, and Dumbledore.

‘Anyhow’, continued Farage, ‘UKIP are the only party who will repeal the EUs ban on pork scratchings and will also lead the fight to prevent Muslims infiltrating Gardeners Question Time’.

Pseudo-racist UKIP supporter Gary Lumpbrain said, ‘Look, I’m just a normal bloke and I’ll be voting for UKIP because leader Nigel Farage reminds me of Baron Silas Greenback, the toad villian from Danger Mouse, who, allegedly, turned to a life of crime as a schoolboy toad when children stole his bicycle and let all the air out of the tyres. I’m pretty sure something similar must have happened to Nigel when he was young, and the perpetrators were probable immigrants, so as far as I’m concerned all of his actions are justified’.

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