Students demand higher tuition fees

Students marching for higher tuition fees

SAVVY students are campaigning for tuition fees to be raised safely beyond the point it is even remotely feasible loans will ever be paid back.

Lucy Wrighton of the National Union of Students said, ‘When fees were £3000 a year and loans were smaller, it was awful. It felt like a proper loan, you know?

‘Now that loans are for such an intangibly large dream like amount, it’s got much better. Nobody has any intention of paying them back, alteast before humanity is wiped out.

‘The pressure is off and students are back to doing what we do best, drunkenly balancing shoes on our heads. But raising the fees once more couldn’t do any harm’

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