Special Place in Hell would not alter my core body temperature of 7 degrees, insists Mogg

jacob-rees-mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg has said being sent to a special place in hell would give opportunity to negotiate new trade deals and would not alter his core body temperature of 7 degrees celcius.

‘My testicles operate at a constant minus 3, the outer extremities of my fingertips can reach 6.2 when I’m not wearing thermals, I’ll be fine’ said Mogg.

‘and I’m pretty sure the food standards there are very low, horrifying bowls of boiling puss, excrement, things like that, we can apply zero-percent tariffs to those

‘plus I’ve already taken a call from Satan himself and agreed to sell him the NHS in return for a gold plated hatstand and a new set of ivory shoe horns, I can only see it as a positive’.

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