CLONING Brian Cox and smashing him into himself using the Large Hadron Collider at CERN would get physics nowhere, physicists have predicted.
Cox had originally suggested cloning and colliding himself with himself at close to the speed of light would in one great flash of energy probably reveal the deepest and most elusive secrets of the universe, big ones, wonderful ones, ones likely to usher in a new dawn of civilization.
‘I’m pretty certain’, Cox eagerly asserted.
But particle physicist Professor James Corblanche disagreed, ‘I think he’s talking a load of shit. They say the Large Hadron Collider is the biggest tool in science, though if you ask me, it’s Brian’, he said, ‘but maybe it’s just worth a shot.’
A growing body of criticism to Cox’s plan has emerged across the scientific community who believe that the idea is unlikely to unlock any great mysteries and would be very expensive, but concluded they may aswell do it anyway.
Scientist Lilly Lambworth said, ‘look, if he’s up for it let’s give it a go. The collider’s sitting there doing nothing, let’s fire up the old beast and prove the knobhead wrong.’