THE BANK of England has announced all debit and credit card pin numbers will be reset to 1111 in an effort to encourage more low level street crime.
Governor Mark Carney said, ‘We’re not out of the woods yet. GDP figures are improving but are made up and the recovery is entirely based on a gigantic mountain of unfathomable high level fraud.’
‘It’s untethered, unhinged, it needs to be shored up on a bedrock of common criminality’
‘We’ve taken these measures to ensure a robust economy that works on all levels’
‘People are too nice’