Loch Ness Monster speaks out on Scottish Independence

The Loch Ness Monster doesn’t know what all the fuss is about

THE LOCH Ness Monster spoke out for the first time since the results of the Scottish Referendum In a press conference this morning.

‘I couldn’t be arsed about it either way’ he said, ‘and to be honest, I don’t know what all the fuss is about’

‘Look, I’m an 80 foot serpent who lives in a freezing cold loch 100 miles from the nearest human habitation, why should I care?’

‘Nobody even visits’

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