A £2 TRILLION re-nationalisation of the Royal Mail is to go ahead following consultation with private financial advisers from global hedge fund group and current Royal Mail majority owners, Black Shadow.
The £2 Trillion price tag was agreed by Business secretory Vince Cable after high rank members of Black Shadow insisted £2 Trillion was a fair price, reassuring Cable they had made a series of extensive and complex financial calculations on very expensive computers.
Cable brushed off criticism the price was £1.99 Trillion more than the original sale price of the deal he made less than 1 year ago to sell off the public asset, which had been undervalued by £1 Billion following consultancy with the same group.
He commented ‘We have turned to this group for expert insider industry advice. They seem like a nice group of fellas, they’re polite and are very smartly dressed, well polished shoes, all seems to be in good order’