TV kibitzer Alex Polizza has been commissioned to visit everybody’s house and tell them off.
A new campaign has been launched to ensure households understand the basics of aristocratic fiscal discipline, aswell as that decor is well maintained, the dusting is done, and no half eaten flapjacks are hiding down the backs of settees.
Alex is expected to visit every address in the Britain during June, when everyone is in watching the tennis.
Following the visit householders will be required to display a laminated personal statement of positive intent on the front door.
Critics of the scheme have welcomed it because they think it’s great.
Although it is possible she will be disguised as a plumber or an electrician, Alex will require freshly ground organic Guatemalan coffee steamed through a vintage Italian peculator to be served on arrival with a platter of yam and cress sandwiches cut into neat little triangles complemented with a side dish of live baby crabs.
‘I’m looking forward to the opportunity to deliver a modicum of order and respectability to this dog-eared nation’, said Alex, adding ‘and I won’t be happy until everyone is driving atleast an Audi A3’.